if I could have any useless super power, that exists only to be mildly humorous, i think i would possess the ability to cause mold to grow at an alarming rate. In the TV show, at least once an episode the “bully who I can’t do anything about cause i maintain the power imbalance to help with me keeping my identity a secret” would like, punch me, and then would steal my sandwich from the lunch bucket, and the camera would zoom in on my face and i’d have a little smirk and it would zoom out again and he’d take a bite and then be all “blech MOLDY SANDWICH” and then I could have a catch phrase? the guy would be all “who packs a science experiment for lunch!?” and i’d be all “Well, you GOTTA BREAK THE MOLD”. or something. Obviously, we’ll hire writers.
Anyways, i’m pretty paranoid when it comes to using power cords with the ground broken off. That is all.