There are moments of clarity that we all have… where purpose is being met and fulfilled, and everyone is pulling in the same direction, where the story clicks, where life is life to it’s fullest… If we’re lucky, these moments will last long enough to be recorded in some way, or have some lasting impact on the life of others… these are the moments that, when we are at our best, we strive for.
I’m a lucky man, one of the most formative moments in my life IS a recording.
I sit here overwhelmed. It may be because I have just drawn one of my favourite comics i’ve ever drawn for these reasons:
a) i’ve been reading the original speed racer and i feel like some of that has translated into this.
b) i feel like charlie is finally actually a character… how he behaves in today’s strip is completely out of my control, at this point i’m just sitting back and watching it unfold.
But comic aside, i’m overwhelmed for a different reason i’ve already alluded to.
I’m listening through my old band’s CD. I get nostalgic, it was a very formative time for me in good ways and in painful ways, but as I listen to the music we made, I can’t help but feel that it meant something. It means something to me. My heart is in that music… Listening to it is so bittersweet (no pun intended, for all you captain fans).
It represents blissful ignorance and a true-blue “coming-of-age” story… It represents child-like faith and optimism. The crap I learned about life with those four guys (funny that i consider myself back then to be a different person) is stuff that I take for granted every day, and I never want to take it for granted again.
I pray to God that twenty seven year old Robert is living up to the potential that twenty year old Rob had. I listen to this music and I remember a time in life where the most important thing I had to worry about was how we were going to get the keys to our friend’s apartment’s pool so that “Captain pool summer 2005” could continue uninterrupted… when the only thing I had to apologize for was for making rude remarks regarding people wearing sweat pants… When did life get so serious?
It’s not the irresponsibility I am pining after… it’s the faith.
Life got serious the moment that I, for some reason, decided that I had to please anyone that wasn’t God. That takes a lot out of a guy, and it’s impossible. I can’t say for sure when that moment was for me, it was likely a gradual thing… But for some reason, this ol’ captain CD snapped me out of it. It’s like the 20 year old version of Drew, Andy, Jamison and myself are giving me a big ol’ kick-in-the-butt, and honestly, it’s a kick in the butt that I needed. Aim to please God, and the rest falls into place… Aim to please others and you had better believe the joy gets drained out of life in a hurry. Put a smile on God’s face and what else is there to worry about?
I’ve been grumpy for far too long. God save me!
Send me an email if you want the captain album, it’s mp3 format, (big thanks to Jeremy Bailey for having a copy handy). my email addy is firstname.lastname@example.org. It’s not a mind-blowing album, it isn’t mozart, it surely doesn’t measure up to what the other guys have been doing since then, but it’s the best music i’ve ever made, and i believe every word of what it says, and every note that is played was hard fought and refined, and if you listen to it, you will know something more of who I am and who God is making me to be… I’ve just been off track for a while, and thank God we recorded this crap because I really needed it.