every day of my life

2014-2-6I have a supernatural ability to destroy white clothing  with food and drink.  It MIGHT just be the worst super-power ever, right next to “can walk SUPER slow” and “Skin that reacts to EVERY kind of soap”.  Hmm.  This is actually kinda fun, thinking up sucky super powers.  HERE WE GO:
1) Supernatural ability to complain about the metric system
2)  Supernatural ability to poop for a long time
3)  Supernatural ability to taste cilantro, and not like it
4)  Supernatural ability to understand dogs, but only when they are about to die
5)  Supernatural ability to retain water
6)  Supernaturally strong skin, but it’s because you are covered in warts
7)  Supernaturally good eyesight, but it’s actually just because everyone else needs glasses
8)  Supernaturally sensitive nose.  But it’s sensitive to kleenex, so it’s not like you smell any better, it’s just that your nose gets red every time you blow it
9)  Supernatural ability to always have pneumonia and never get rid of it
10)  Supernatural ability to fly, but only for a second, and you have to spend your whole life convincing people that it’s different than jumping, but they’ll NEVER BELIEVE YOU

I could keep going, but i mean, …why?


have a great day everyone!