Coffee: my parental lifeboat


My house is an average of 100 times louder than it was before we had Josie.  Coffee-dog is also much louder, as she is jealous of the attention Josie gets… and this is where the Coffee-drink comes in!

Here is my pro-tip (as if i’m a pro haha) to new parents, and parents to be!  have earplugs and coffee (the drink) on hand!  Earplugs to dull the noise, and coffee-drink to dull your headaches and keep you awake and alert!  Besides tasting good, I like to think of coffee-drink as borrowing energy, which will be important, as you will have NONE.  Some day, maybe nature will demand you repay all of the loans you’ve taken from the coffee-drink-energy-bank, but that day is not today!  Volume over-exposure and energy depletion are a battle we fight today and count the cost of later.  I am not good at writing math formulas, but if I were to speak it, i’d say it’s something like this:

The exponential decay of your energy level is directly proportional to the exponential increase of the volume level at your home.

Using this formula, you can set up parameters and determine how much coffee-drink it will take to bring your mind back to safety, should the volume/tired levels cross unacceptable thresholds!  As your energy goes down and the volume goes up, more coffee is required to bring those levels back into standard operating parameters.  Keep in mind, the amount of coffee required to get the levels back to normal is ALSO exponential, and because you will some-day have to pay back the coffee-drink-energy-bank, it is best to be in a constantly caffeinated state so that you don’t have to binge on coffee to catch up.