Herschel hat

I think that, between my fake yeezy’s, my not-skin-tight blue jeans, my appropriately lengthed tshirt and my gangly beard, I was not the type of person he was likely to want to share the bond of hat brotherhood with. To that I say, fair enough. Still though, any delusion I was maintaining that I was relevant has been effectively shattered.

Beauty and the beast

This is not a new critique. Beauty and the beast is the cartoon equivalent of the nightmare of Stockholm syndrome. I sorta want to watch the remake and see if they added more about the process of forgiveness. Whatevs!

Lower mainland weather

One thing I love living in the Fraser valley of bc is the weather is relatively mild. Summers are hot but rarely over 35 Celsius, winters are chilly but not really under -5. It snows, but only enough for it to be a minor inconvenience. Rarely is ice a concern. It’s the best!

That being said, if any sort of weather event DOES happen, we are woefully unequipped to deal with it. If the winds pick up, BAM, 500K people in the lower mainland without electricity. Trees squishing people. If it does snow, well, cancel everything because we don’t have even close to enough plows to get people where they need to go… not to mention the big earthquake that’s expected to happen.

anyways, yesterday I chased my hat across a parking lot like a real life cartoon. Felt great. My pants fell down too.

Hot off the woks

Calm down noodle cowboy. What’s the point of going to a restaurant if all you’re going to do is complain to the server every two seconds about how they made your food wrong? Here’s my theory: they didn’t make your food wrong, you just didn’t know what you were ordering. Nothing makes me more uncomfortable then somebody loudly complaining about their food when there is clearly nothing wrong with the food.

Unreasonable

Nothing says space opera epic like droids/Alien creatures/cgi main characters farting for no reason at awkward moments. It really lends to a situation’s gravitas.

There’s a career I could get behind

I guarantee you that, employed at Exxon mobile, there are social media influencers and facilitators. Somewhere in America, there is a girl who dreams of doing what her mom does (and the poor kid doesn’t even know how horrible the dmv actually is). I’m sure there’s even a law firm that only works with hemorrhoid companies…. it’s called baker and pooper, and I don’t know why I’m writing these words.

what I do know is this:


Today, on the radio, I heard an ad compelling to Stop going to my current gas station “that I’ve been going to for years” and “make the switch” to whatever there gas station was, because they have quality gasoline products and a point rewards ststem. The brand loyalty I feel towards any gas station is exactly 0%, and the thought that I have a preference as to which gas station I go to actually made me chortle. CHORTLE, I SAY! I prefer going to gas stations that are on the right, and have an exit where I can turn right, that is on the way to where I am going. If a brand can somehow harness that, they’ll have my business.

Paper writing: what a thrill

Just kidding, it is not a thrill. Well, it can be, if it’s in a subject that’s interesting. If the paper proposed in the second panel sounds interesting to you, well, you can read my paper and be severely disappointed.