How to write a good novel

Not a great novel, mind you. Just a good one. Good is a theologically loaded word, but if you don’t care about theology, good isn’t a great word to describe something that’s, well, good. Like if someone spent all day making you a cake and in their enthusiasm they asked “tell me, how is it?” And you took a bite and said “good,” well, I think you’d be wearing that cake now wouldn’t you?

I’ve had a couple awesome ideas for a novel. The first is that I watch the lord of the rings trilogy, And with some good speech to text software, I describe everything I see through the eyes of an 8 year old and it is one big long run on sentence. Nothing would give me more joy then to talk up my novel to somebody and then hand that brick of a book to them and watch the confusion on their face.