Herschel hat

I think that, between my fake yeezy’s, my not-skin-tight blue jeans, my appropriately lengthed tshirt and my gangly beard, I was not the type of person he was likely to want to share the bond of hat brotherhood with. To that I say, fair enough. Still though, any delusion I was maintaining that I was relevant has been effectively shattered.

yay, individuality!

cge013If you have to wear glasses, it seems you have a couple philosophies you can follow.
1) Make the glasses as invisible as possible, almost like they are a natural part of your face
2) Make the glasses as visible as possible, like they are the paint and your face is the blank canvas

I usually find myself going with the first of these two options, and i gotta say, super boring.  BUT!  If I pick glasses based on their own merits, i’ll feel like i’m trying too hard to be cool, which isn’t good, because i have to wear my glasses every day.

In any case, believing that glasses are a form of self-expression (while exclusively wearing old band/camp/in-n-out t shirts and cargo shorts) is self-defeating, as it turns out the self i’d be expressing wouldn’t really be my “self” at all.  So, this brings us to the third option…. Contacts.  maybe.

As I sit here, typing this, my daughter is eating apple slices, but doing this high-pitched Godzilla whine before devouring each slice.  it is thoroughly entertaining.


you would NOT BELIEVE how practical this is! #14 will blow your mind.


My TOP 15 list of incredibly practical pro-tips that will destroy any apple-chic sensibilities!

1)  Carabiner key-chain, attached to your belt-loop
2)  A phone case that attaches to your belt loop (actually, anything to do with belts and belt-loop accessories are a good idea)
3)  ACTUALLY FILLING your cargo shorts’ pockets with cargo
4)  Wearing a hat and taking the stickers off of it
5)  Socks and sandals.  Because, comfort.
6)  IF you have a smart TV, you don’t need an apple TV
7)  iTunes isn’t the only online music obtaining option
8)  If you don’t wanna carry a wallet, put your dolla billz in your SOCK
9)   Rubber boots are TOTALLY fine to wear on a date if it’s raining (if you don’t have rubber boots, just get a bag and an elastic band, and put the bag over your shoes and elastic-band em to seal it to your ankle.)
10)  Wearing a hat and curving the brim gives better sun-protection
11)  Cardigans are dumb, wear a sweatshirt for optimum warmth
12)  Wear those sunglasses that go over your existing sunglasses that cataracts patients have to wear
13)  TOMS shoes fall apart at an ALARMING rate.  Just sayin’.
14)  Fanny packs are actually super practical, tourists have no problem with them
15)  U2 isn’t the first band to give their music away for free, you can actually find a LOT of awesome music for free (legally) with a simple google search.

Well, the iphone 6 is chocked full of new features my android phone apparently already has (although i didn’t know it).  IF there is one thing apple is good at doing, it’s taking existing ideas and making them seem earth-shattering and exclusive.

EDIT- oh, i’m still gonna get that free U2 album.  Free music!~  yay!  (although, I use ad-supported Rdio, so… more free music!)


…that moment when you realize you are odd.

2014-2-19So, Diana drives the van and I drive the scooter.  On days when it is really rainy, and I am still driving the scooter, I need to put more and more layers on to stay warm!  With rain comes wind, and with wind comes cold, and a longer journey (as my scooter can’t reach top speed in windy weather).  I think if i had a heavy jacket like most people in the world, it wouldn’t be that bad.  Like, a winter jacket, or a parka.  BUT!  What’s the point?  I’d wear it for like, two weeks of the year.  SO!  what I do instead is wear every zip-up that I have.  Normal?  No.  But it does the job.

Yesterday I scooted over to a student’s house for a meeting, and I stepped into their porch soaking wet.  I took off my leather jacket, then a hoodie, then another hoodie, and then another hoodie.  I left my last hoodie on, cause it was a little chilly.  It was at the third hoodie that I realized it was probably kind of an odd thing to observe…  the clown-car of fashion decisions.

I tend to keep our house kinda chilly too…  Like, at night time, when we are watching TV, i need a blanket to wrap around my legs, or i get cold!  and, thinking about this scooter-hoodie situation, it got me thinking… do normal people just keep their house a little warmer, so they can sit at a comfortable temperature?  MAYBE.  that would be weird though… and a difficult temperature to achieve!  watching TV, i’d rather shiver than sweat.  Is that odd?  probably.

Meh, what do i care?  I’m warm!  so it takes me five minutes to get all my jackets on.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!


Socks ‘n Sandals

2013-9-25I’m gonna start an acoustic cover band called “socks ‘n sandals” and i’ll be RICH.
Alas, it’s getting a little cold on my scooter to ride around with bare feet and sandals (a practice which is discouraged to begin with, as it isn’t SUPER safe… but it is SUPER comfortable!)  I am faced with a decision:  ROCK OUT the socks and sandals, which i did last year until almost november much to the disdain of everyone around me with any sense of social norm, OR, be a normal person and start wearing my shoes.  AKA SELL OUT TO THE MAN.  the shoe-man.  the cobbler.  *sigh* i just hate shoes so much, but I also hate everyone commenting on my socks and sandals.  truly, truly, this problem is worse than ANY faced by modern man.  Somehow, i’ll muddle through.  somehow.  *single tear*

In any case, who even uses fine china anymore?  I bet the queen uses tupperware picnic dishes like the rest of civilization.  no?