How to be smug in three steps

How to be smug:

  1. Listen to the question to learn it’s context
  2. intentionally answer the question within the context, but make sure your response doesn’t actually answer the question
  3. repeat until you have no friends

Here are some examples.

Q: “Do you like the band death cab for cutie?”
A: “I prefer transportation that caters to uggos.”

Q: “Do you like Star Wars or Star Trek?”
A: “I prefer human interaction.”

Q: “What’s better, socialism or capitalism?”
A: “I prefer totalitarianism, and I’m the king, and also I have a pony.”

see, you should always reframe the question to gain superiority, because every conversation is a power struggle. Also if you can’t tell, I’m being sarcastic, and people that treat other people like this drive me crazy. Also I’ve been known to do that, and I’m working on not doing it so much.