Just dance 2020!

It’s true. You can be really into just dance and move around and make a fool of yourself (YouTube gold!) or, you can (like my brother) sit on the chair and absolutely dominate the score with some simple flicks of the wrist. That is because it only measures the accelerometer in the controller which is easy to fool. My favourite is how it lets you use your cellphone instead of the controller if you want, which just seems like a genuinely bad idea.

One can dream

I don’t know how old you have to be to enjoy wheel of fortune, but I haven’t hit it yet. Jeopardy was around twenty seven. Family feud- does anyone really enjoy that show, or is it the game show equivalent of sweet pickles? I mean, does anyone really ever crave a sweet pickle, or do they just pick away at them because someone put them on the table? Real deep thoughts over here at gogomachrocketsheep, you read it here first.

classic video games really hold up.

2014-9-19The thing I really appreciate about “classic” video games (classic being a relative term of course) is that the game play really holds up… and, half the games made today are trying to have a retro-aesthetic so the graphics sort of hold up too.

The original super mario bros on the NES really is one of my all-time favourite games.  it’s so fun, it’s got a pretty consistent “physics” and a consistently manipulatable control scheme…  PLUS, the graphics are so simple, they don’t detract from the experience.  They enable the imagination!

I do like retro-inspired video games, but a lot of time in modern-retro seems to be focused on the aesthetic and not on the mechanics.  Some games get it right, some do not.  Even modern-retro RPG’s seem to be missing something of the magic.

How long can I keep playing my old games?  I wish I could play them all again for the first time.  The truth is, I have this longing to play a game that I know no longer exists.  It’s hard to compete against a memory I suppose.


Money down on the dog races

2014-8-7For some reason, I’m REALLY tired this morning!  So i thought to myself, maybe I should take it easy and draw a coffee-dog comic.

…I’ve never had this much trouble drawing coffee-dog!  I guess it’s been a good half-a-year since she last showed up, just outta coffee-dog practice.  COFFEE-DOG!

Have a great thursday everyone!  Don’t let your dog beat your lap time.


SCANDAL in the iOS gaming world

2014-6-13You heard it here first!  the DRUG SCANDAL inspired by competitive iOS gaming has spilled over into the ranks of our nations youth!  From sea to shining sea, children of ALL ages are taking performance enhancing drugs, liquefied, in order to maintain their competitive edge.

“I think redbull tastes like crap, but Monster’s alright.”  Jeremy, aged 13, current “piano tiles” champion of Canada

“I can see my house from here!”  Jenny, aged 17, (the original) flappy bird record holder, high on redbull at time of comment.

On Wednesday night, a local man’s iPad was lent to a group of high-school students.  Shortly after seven thirty in the evening, the students systematically exceeded EVERY high-score, ensuring the man would waste the next three days attempting to regain his title.

“I first suspected them of caffeine doping,” recalls Shauf, “they were moving faster than is humanly possible.  Plus they kept drinking stupid amounts of energy drinks, so, that was a pretty obvious indicator.”  While most of the students declined to comment on-record, general consensus amongst the youth group was that Shauf was too old to be truly involved at a competitive level.  They also didn’t seem to think energy-drink doping is a big deal, saying that the fifteen cups-of-coffee Shauf consumes in a day is actually more damaging to one’s health in the long run.




Final Fantasy X re-release


The biggest difference between now and when I first played final fantasy X is that, when I was in grade 12 and first played it, I had more free time then I knew what to do with.  I didn’t really realize that the free-time thing would be a hindrance to enjoying the re-release of my favourite video game of all time, but…  let’s just say that an epic game like FFX feels slightly less epic in 30 minute intervals once every six days.

I will say this though:  The HD graphics are pretty sweet.  It is especially noticeable in how the back-grounds pop off of the screen.  The character models in HD are sweet too!  Some of the animations seem awkward when paired with such pretty looking character models, but you know, that’s how it goes when you don’t make it over again from the ground up.  It’s great!  I just wish I could actually play it!  haha.

But, let’s be honest.  I have a wife I love, a daughter I love, a puppy I love, a job I love… grade 12 me didn’t have any of those things, and he needed a fantasy to fill the time.  Maybe… I don’t any more?  in the words of blink 182… “I guess this is growing up”!  …lets see if i can make another highschool reference…  “Whadda yah mean, barq’s has bite?  JOHNNY!?”  Final Fantasy indeed.

the grass is always greener…

2013-9-17When I was younger, video games were more than a hobby for me…  They were a shared social experience with friends and strangers.  Launch days were events.  I would meet people standing in line, waiting for the electronics department of super store to open.  I once bought Golden Eye for a friend who lived in a different city, because the game was perpetually sold out in their city.
Multiplayer tournaments took place in semi-shady used game stores, the prizes were in-store credit.
We played games, single player and multi player, sitting on the same couch with our friends.  On the rare occasion we played single player games alone, this was just the process of harvesting future conversation grain.
I think, having just participated in a “Day-one digital download!”, I feel very sad!  SURPRISINGLY sad.  For me, video gaming isn’t really about hanging out with my friends, or meeting new people, or social competition, or waking up early to drive to the store and hoping that the people remembered to stock the shelves and the million other weird things that gamers had to do to get by…  It’s about laziness and comfort and entitlement?  or it feels that way, and I don’t really like it.
Maybe i’m just bothered that there is no such thing as scarcity anymore.  You want something?  it’s yours.  Do we lose something when we constantly get what we want?  I think so.