Well, the youth retreat is over!  It was a blaaast.  I wrecked the only pair of “church” pants that I owned… I mean, the only pair that fits me.  As a result of my favorite non-jeans being destroyed, i’ve had to transition into wearing jeans… which i don’t mind, except the one pair of jeans I have right now that are clean and actually fit are so tight in the crotchle region that every time I take a step, the fly goes down a millimeter.

The WORST part about this, walking on the sidewalk, is that the people who walk on sidewalks in small towns tend to space themselves out from eachother at about fifty paces….  Every time I meet someone on the sidewalk, my fly is down.  Of course, i do it up right after we walk past each other, but it’s useless, cause it’s down again by the time I get to the next pedestrian.  Fifty paces… Fifty millimeters, five centimeters… Fly down.  I can’t do it up while I’m walking towards the person, cause if I make eye contact with them and they see that I was playing around with my fly, it might be viewed as some obscene gesture, which would be CREEPY.  SOCIAL ETIQUETTE.    I don’t know what to do, except get a pair of pants that actually FIT… and i’m cheap, and i don’t really like doing that.